Monday, February 16, 2009

2/16

1. A new study has found a pill that might erase negative emotions from particular memories. Man, there are a lot of potential uses for something like that. For example, I could give it to people after they read this blog.

2. Three brothers will try to break the world record for the longest time spent on Mount Everest. Of course, they’ll have no chance of breaking the record for the longest time with so little oxygen to the brain, which is 28 years by Jessica Simpson.

3. Michael Phelps is not going to be charged in the horrific, truly horrific, scandal in which he tried some marijuana. The sheriff said that if Phelps had ever actually admitted to smoking marijuana, then they could charge him, but so far, all they have is the giant photo of him… smoking marijuana. I don’t think Phelps is the only one here on drugs. When was the last time they checked this sheriff? We already knew we weren’t dealing with a genius here, but now…

4. Scientists say there might be alien life already on Earth, thriving in environments that are poisonous to carbon-based life. A team was quickly dispatched to Starbucks bathrooms.

5. A new study says that some breast-fed babies may become dehydrated because they’re not getting enough milk. But then they found that most of the babies were being breast-fed by their fathers.

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