1. Have you heard these people who say that the return of Tiger Woods will help solve the recession? I think we should nationalize him. He could play tournaments around the world to raise money for the States.
2. The Jonas Brothers have released a 3D concert film. That’s a nifty trick, considering that in real life, they’re only 2D.
3. The Rocky Mountain News in Denver is going to shut down, meaning the end of those legendary meetings in the ink room -- the Rocky Mountain Highs.
4. A new study says that knitting helps keep people from going senile. Unfortunately, TV makes people more likely to go senile. But when else are you going to knit? Maybe if you watch TV and knit at the same time, they balance each other out, like drinking and smoking.
5. A new study says that brain training games don’t actually help you stay sharp any more than talking with friends or doing crossword puzzles. Yeah, but what you don’t understand is that Americans don’t go out and they don’t read anymore, so this is all we’ve got!
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