1. There might be a special election in Illinois to fill Obama’s Senate seat, and extra care will be taken to see that no bribes are given out. In Illinois, that is a very special election.
2. The person in charge of the bailout of the Big Three car companies is going to be known as the “car czar”. As in: “These car czar not selling.”
3. A major discovery has come from Chile’s VLT, which stands for Very Large Telescope. There are LTs, which are Large Telescopes, and VLTs, which are Very Large Telescopes. But the VLT is not as big as Colorado’s HJTIFLT, which stands for Holy Jesus This Is a Fucking Large Telescope.
4. This year, more people searched Google for information on Sarah Palin than any other topic. Most of the searches came from John McCain’s staff.
5. The British prime minister Gordon Brown mistakenly said in a speech yesterday that his government had “saved the world”. No, actually, Barack Obama is going to save the world. Just a correction.
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