1. Burger King is going to market a men’s fragrance with the smell of meat for only $3.99. For less than that, can’t you just stuff a Whopper in your pants?
2. The last South Korean troops in Iraq were brought home yesterday. Now I know what you’re all thinking: “There were South Korean troops in Iraq?” It’s because everyone in South Korea has to serve in the military, so they run out of things for them to do. There are South Korean troops under my desk. Which explains all the holes in my socks.
3. Japan is forecasting zero growth for next year. Zero. Things are especially bad because they’re moving all their factories to the U.S. to hire our cheap workers.
4. Scientists now say that Mars is more hospitable to life than previously thought, which inspired Obama to announce that people with foreclosed homes can be sent there.
5. Israeli riot police injured 50 people yesterday, but this is true, they were other Israeli riot police in a training exercise. If this is what they do to each other, imagine what they do to the Palestinians. It got worse when the injured riot police declared their own homeland in the hospital.
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