1. The movie “Resident Evil” debuted at number one this weekend. It’s the third installment of the series about sinister college-dorm leaders.
2. Nike has unveiled the first shoe designed specifically for Native Americans. After Native Americans learn how to use the shoes, the company plans to take them all back and give them away to other people. The shoes are specially designed for use on the carpets in casinos.
3. Sales of durable goods have fallen recently. Durable goods are defined as manufactured goods expected to last for several years. For example Twinkies or Donald Trump’s hair.
4. Leaders of the Episcopal Church have agreed to stop ordaining gay clergy, in order to prevent a split in the Anglican Church. This makes sense, because I’ve known some gay dancers and they can do some amazing splits.
5. The Getty Museum in Los Angeles is going to give back art works that were stolen from Italy. They should have known when the Italian curator was named Vinny the Sculptor.
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