1. Google has announced that governments need to establish internet privacy laws. Said a Google spokesperson: “People need to be protected from having their privacy violated on the internet by groups like us at Google.” Later that day, Google announced the launch of Snoogle, a website where you can watch your neighbors having sex with hidden cameras.
2. Presidential candidate Joe Biden called Bush’s speech about troop withdrawals in Iraq “shameful and bizarre”. Bizarre? Has he been paying any attention at all over the last four years? ‘Bush is for the war? I thought he was going to announce free gumdrops for everyone!’
3. The mayor of Miami says that a certain criminal is “an extremely violent individual that we don’t need out there in our community.” Yes, as opposed to extremely violent individuals that we DO need out there in our community. Like Russell Crowe. Or Michael Vick. Or me.
4. A company has developed a no-stick gum and tested it on the hair of the CEO’s daughter (true). No word on whether it was shot into the hair from a straw.
5. Google is offering $20 million dollars to the first non-government group to send a robot to the moon and have it do a series of tasks, such as photograph it for Moonview.
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