1. A list of the ten most polluted places in the world was just released. Number one on the list -- Sumgayit in Azerbaijan. Number two on the list -- the 14th St. Starbucks bathroom in New York City.
2. O.J Simpson is being charged with armed robbery for trying to retrieve items that he says were stolen from him. He says that he didn’t go to the police because every time he does, “it just becomes a story about O.J.” Yes, as opposed to him being charged with armed robbery.
3. France’s foreign minister says the world needs to prepare for possible war with Iran. Well, I guess this is the end of Republicans being anti-French. “What? I love France! Freedom Fries? What are those?” The French President is Sarkozy by name, soooo cozy by reputation.
4. The Russian space agency is sending ten gerbils into outer space for tests. They say that gerbils are ideally suited for space flight, because they perform well in dark, tight… warm… sensual places.
5. The head of Al Qaeda in Iraq has increased his bounty on a Swedish cartoonist if he was “slaughtered like a lamb”. In other words, with mint sauce.
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