1. Amsterdam is going to buy several brothels and turn them into houses. Those might be tough to sell. “This house is perfect for a growing family. It not only has a kitchen and living room, but also 18 bedrooms.”
2. California apparently gave out over 50,000 free lunch boxes to promote nutrition, but have now learned that they may be contaminated with lead. The California Department of Health -- outsourcing your child’s health to China since 1994. When governor Arnold Schwarzenegger was told, he said that children should listen to a variety of music. His aides then told him that it wasn’t that type of ‘heavy metal’.
3. Fidel Castro made his first TV appearance in three months in order to stop rumors that he’s dying. However, the rumors continue, because at one point in the interview he yelled: “Brains! Must eat brains!!!”
4. The Olympic torch will not pass through Taiwan, because Taiwan and China couldn’t resolve some basic differences. You see, Taiwan wanted the torch to go along a route that highlighted the history and culture of the island, whereas China wanted the torch to be rammed directly up Taiwan’s ass.
5. Canada has vowed to build new military facilities in the Arctic to counter Russia. I think Canada is letting the strong Canadian dollar go to their heads. “We’ll take over the world!” This gives the Cold War a whole new meaning.
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