1. Zhu Zhu Pet toys were declared safe by the feds, in response to fears that Mr. Squiggles could cause vomiting. The bad news didn’t hurt sales (true). What kind of parents are these? “Well, if the kid vomits, maybe he’ll lose some weight.” Federal agencies are notoriously slow to test toys. For example, only last month, it finally okayed “Injuns”.
2. Scientists have now developed batteries made of paper. So what steroids have been for pro sports, this is going to be for paper airplane contests.
3. Brian Bonsall, a former actor on the ‘80s sitcom “Family Ties”, has been arrested for assault. Bonsall now regrets the fight, which he started when someone called his former co-star Meredith Baxter a lesbian.
4. The president of Serbia was fined for making a toast at a soccer match. Serbia bans alcohol at sports events in order to stop violence. Which is odd, because considering this is Serbia, sports events are one of the least violent places in the country.
5. A woman in Florida says that a McDonald’s refused to hire her because she used to be a man. She should have applied at Burger King, since their slogan is “Have It Your Way”.
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