1. Meredith Baxter, 1980s sitcom mom and former Lifetime Channel star, has revealed that she is a lesbian. I think after 500 Lifetime movies about abusive husbands, Baxter just decided to spice things up with a new type of domestic partner.
2. The government of Madagascar has released a comic book to explain the nation’s constitution. Now, you might be wondering why Madagascar has a system so much more mature than our use of news pundits....
3. A new House bill lets the feds take over any financial firm whose failure is a risk to the nation’s stability. Which means if Warren Buffet goes into a coma, no one will be pulling the plug.
4. The woman who bragged to US Magazine about an affair with Tiger Woods said: “I hope Tiger and I can remain good friends.” So now we know two things about her – she had an affair with Woods and she’s batshit crazy.
5. A new study shows that men have a gene that lets them grow bigger bodies than women, but at the expense of shorter lifespans. But you know, I went to the Playboy Mansion, and I think it’s not just men getting this gene.
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