12/5

1. A Swedish department store has stopped selling North Korean jeans. The jeans come in two models: loose fit (the “Kim Jong Il”) and slim fit (the “Everyone Else”).

2. Scientists were excited that for the first time, a man controlled his artificial hand with just his thoughts. However, they were later disappointed to learn that he just had ESP.

3. The climate summit in Copenhagen adopted Bob Dylan’s song “A Hard Rain’s A Gonna Fall”. However, considering when serious climate control will ever happen, I think a better Dylan song might be “Blowin’ in the Wind”.

4. A prisoner in Maine who was wrongly released has now turned himself in. There were apparently two prisoners named Ismail. What makes me think Maine isn’t used to guys named Ismail? And it’s the second time this prison has released the wrong person. So if you want to escape from prison, and your name is Smith -- do your crimes in Maine.

5. An official reprimand for a teacher in Britain said (true): “Mr. Rouse behaved inappropriately in threatening to throw a pupil out of the window.” Yes, I would agree. Now if he’d said “through the window”, that would have been okay.