1. The Obama family turned on the National Christmas Tree, covered in red and yellow lights . Fox News immediately reported: “Obama Lights Tree Celebrating Communist China”.
2. The White House held a major job forum today focused on job creation. First up, scheduling more job forums, which will employ thousands.
3. Hofstra University has sadly decided to end its $4.5 million football program. A teary-eyed Hofstra spokesperson said that from now on the money would be wasted on academics.
4. The cable company Comcast, regularly voted as having the nation's worst customer service, is going to buy NBC, which offers the nation's worst selection of shows. I hear next Comcast plans to buy Mountain Dew and the Detroit Lions.
5. Vladimir Putin announced he's considering running for president of Russia in 2012. It was the most surprising news since Donald Trump’s announcement that he’s considering using hair spray tomorrow. Or since woman #47 came forward to say she had a quickie with Tiger Woods under a table at Spago’s.
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