1. Most people in the world’s industrialized countries have a negative view of Russian President Vladimir Putin. Do you think it has anything to do with pictures like this? [Show widespread AP shot of Putin at a firing range with a pistol in his hand.] Is that Putin, or is my local station showing “The Godfather” again?
2. French President Nicolas Sarkozy has been caught on film swearing at someone in a crowd, giving yet another reason for his warm bond with President Bush.
3. The New York Philharmonic is playing in North Korea, in the largest US visit to North Korea since the 85th Platoon. North Korean leader Kim Jon Il feels a kinship with classical composers, since so many of them were also batshit crazy with strange hair.
4. Antarctic glaciers are heading to the ocean very fast, hoping that they might also become part of a major documentary.
5. Yes, Ralph Nader is running for president. This whole 9/11 conspiracy theory is gaining traction and he’s realized that his base is calling to him.
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