1. A new study says people in their 70s are having sex regularly. Around the country, teenage boys are thinking: ‘I have to wait until I’m 70 to get sex regularly?!’
2. The government has found British Airways guilty of price fixing on fuel surcharges. Now, I don’t understand the fuel surcharge. Why isn’t it just part of the ticket price? Soon, they’re going to be saying: “Free flights! However, you will have to pay some surcharges for fuel, food, flight attendants, seat belts, wings, engines, and airports. But if you just want the ticket and stay in your living room -- absolutely free!”
3. French newspapers airbrushed president Nicholas Sarkozy’s love handles. So this is why Michael Moore wants to move there so much.
4. Yesterday, President Bush compared Iraq to Vietnam. He was speaking at the convention of music and movie executives. “Hey, you’re going to make millions from this thing.”
5. In Britain, a new dog lifeguard is patrolling the beaches, giving new meaning to the title “Baywatch”.
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