Sunday, December 2, 2007

12/2

1. The video game maker Activision is merging with the online game giant Blizzard, to form the largest conglomeration of middle-aged virgins the world has ever seen. The new company will be known as Actizard.

2. In a surprising turn in the Russian elections, the party of Vladimir Putin, which controls all the major television networks, radio stations, and newspapers, has… won. Was anyone else even running? Apparently people voting for Putin’s party in St. Petersburg were entered in a lottery to win prizes. We’ve seen how that worked for MTV.

3. In Venezuela, Hugo Chavez has lost an attempt to reform the Constitution by a narrow 2% margin. In a surprise turn of events, he didn’t blame George Bush.

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