1. Hugo Chavez urged Venezuelans to strike a blow against dictatorship and corruption by… voting to let him be president for life.
2. President Bush wants to double the aid for AIDS. He said, “We need to double AIDS over the next five years. I mean, we need to double the aid for AIDS, you know, instead of just having… parades.”
3. Two Muslim politicians from Britain are going to Sudan to try to free the woman convicted of letting her students name a teddy bear after Muhammad. One of them is the Conservative shadow minister. That sounds pretty creepy, doesn’t it? It sounds like she’s going to appear one night in the Sudanese president’s bedroom with a troll and a dwarf.
4. Evel Knievel died today, and in his honor, I’d like to do something I’ve never done before. (@@@ walks over to desk, climbs on top.) Staff member: “No! Don’t do it!” @@@: “I will, damn it! No one can tell me what my limits are!” (Then, @@@ jumps from desk onto couch, and then to floor, raising his hands in triumph.)
5. A senior Mafia leader in Italy was arrested while watching the last episode of a TV series about a former Mafia boss. It reminds me of the time I admitted that I cheated on my wife while watching an episode of “Survivor”.
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