1. The journal “Nature Medicine” recently announced a new schizophrenia drug. Out of 200 patients tested, they got positive results from 346.
2. Central America is currently dealing with the onslaught of Felix the Cat… egory Five hurricane.
3. [photo] NATO forces in Afghanistan have discovered that the Taliban is using Chinese-made weapons. How easy is it to get Chinese-made weapons? Well, I went to Chinatown here in New York and was easily able to buy these illegal surface-to-air missiles. (Show bottle rockets.)
4. In China, a new gallery has opened that displays government officials involved in scandals. A similar gallery has gone up in the United States on the internet. Just go to this web address: www.whitehouse.gov.
5. Brad Pitt was hugged by a crazed fan yesterday at the Venice Film Festival. However, it was later discovered that the fan was actually a 33-year-old Moroccan woman hoping to get a green card by being adopted by him.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Monday, September 3, 2007
9/3
1. Larry Craig, the senator from Idaho who was arrested for making lewd overtures in a public restroom, is going to resign. The governor of Idaho will appoint another senator, and as for the new senator‘s sexual orientation, I think we should look at the governor’s nickname, which is, I’m not making this up: “Butch”.
2. The mayor of a city in Russia has banned officials from using certain phrases, such as “We’re having lunch,” “I think I was off sick at the time,” and “I’m not dealing with this.” Other phrases that might be banned soon are “President Putin threatened to kill my family,” “I drank shoe polish instead of vodka,” and “If you make me change the vending machine chips, I’ll kidnap your daughter.”
3. To deal with the wild cat problem in Australia, some people are suggesting eating the cats. And in completely unrelated news, Taco Bell is planning its first branch there.
4. There are new guidelines for treating asthma in children, and I have to say, the news left me breathless.
5. A new study says that women are more into kissing than men. Unless you’re Italian.
2. The mayor of a city in Russia has banned officials from using certain phrases, such as “We’re having lunch,” “I think I was off sick at the time,” and “I’m not dealing with this.” Other phrases that might be banned soon are “President Putin threatened to kill my family,” “I drank shoe polish instead of vodka,” and “If you make me change the vending machine chips, I’ll kidnap your daughter.”
3. To deal with the wild cat problem in Australia, some people are suggesting eating the cats. And in completely unrelated news, Taco Bell is planning its first branch there.
4. There are new guidelines for treating asthma in children, and I have to say, the news left me breathless.
5. A new study says that women are more into kissing than men. Unless you’re Italian.
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